Title : The 12 Pains Of Christmas

Artist : Bob Rivers


The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Is finding a Christmas tree



The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree



The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Hangovers

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree



The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Sending Christmas cards

Hangovers

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree



The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Five months of bills

Sending Christmas cards

Hangovers

Rigging up the lights

And finding a Christmas tree



The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Facing my in-laws

Five months of bills

"I hate those Christmas cards!"

Hangovers

Rigging up these lights

And finding a Christmas tree



The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Salvation Army

Facing my in-laws

Five months of bills

Sending Christmas cards

"Aw geez"

"I'm trying to rig up these lights!"

And finding a Christmas tree



The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

"I want ant farmer for Christmas"

"Charities, and what do you mean your inlaws?"

Five months of bills

"Ah, mailing out these cards!"

"Edith, get me a beer, huh!"

"What, we have no extension chord?!?"

And finding a Christmas tree



The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Finding parking spaces

"Daddy, I want some candy!"

"Donations!"

Facing my in-laws

Five months of bills

"Writing up those Christmas cards"

Hangovers

"Now why the hell are they blinking?"

And finding a Christmas tree



The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Batteries not included

No parking spaces

"Buy me something!"

"Get a job ya bum!"

Facing the inlaws

Five months of bills

"Yo ho, sending Christmas cards"

"Ah geez, look at this!"

"One light goes out, they all go out!"

And finding a Christmas tree



The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Stale TV specials

Batteries not included

No parking spaces

"I gotta go to the bathroom"

Charities

"She's a witch, I hate her!"

Five months of bills

"Oh, I don't even know half these people!"

"Who's got the toilet paper?"

"Get a flashlight, I blew a fuse!"

And finding a Christmas tree



The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Singing Christmas Carols

Stale TV specials

Batteries not included

No parking

"Waaah!"

Charities

Gotta make 'em dinner

Five months of bills

"I'm not sending them, Mister, that's it!"

"Shut up, you!"

"Fine, you're so smart, you rig up the lights!"

And finding a Christmas tree


Written by
AMERO, DENNIS J / SILVA, BRIAN / RIVERS, BOB

Lyrics © EMI Music Publishing
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind